What did I Ever do to You?

I've always thought of myself as an upstanding lobster, picking up all the "dead stuff", especially the plastic humans waste. By the way, we don’t appreciate all the pollution but that's a discussion for another time. Since I'm about to die, I must ask why they are targeting us- the "garbage men of the sea." Only last week I was living the prime of my life: swimming in the cool ocean, spending time with Bill, Sam, and all the other guys, and even "molt[ing]" my shell. Life was as good as it gets, but then those monstrous things came after us. Actually, we decided to take a nap when a metal cage devoured my entire family. In the rusting jail, they stacked us one over the other; I have never been an aggressive lobster, but "under the stresses of captivity", I was just about to kill someone. Imagine someone took the entire city of New York and stuffed them into your house.  How would you feel (not so well I would guess)? Anyway, we soon reached the seafood market, and the vicious humans unloaded the crates. I thought it was over; one...two... three minutes passed. However, they slowly carried lobsters- some who I went to lobster school with- into the "World's Largest Lobster Cooker". I know my time is coming , so I must cherish these last few moments of life. Oh Lord! they're coming now!

Plump! "Hey Chuck, these lobsters look really good." 

"Yeah. And I'm just glad it's a totally painless process for them because man would it suck to be cooked alive."