Let's Be Honest

I've always thought of myself as an upstanding lobster, picking up all the "dead stuff", especially the plastic humans waste. By the way, we don’t appreciate all the pollution but that's a discussion for another time. Since I'm about to die, I must ask why they are targeting us- the " garbage men of the sea." Only last week I was living the prime of my life: swimming in the cool ocean, spending time with Bill, Sam, and all the other guys, and even " molt[ ing ]" my shell. Life was as good as it gets, but then those monstrous things came after us. Actually, we decided to take a nap when a metal cage devoured my entire family . In the rusting jail, they stacked us one over the other; I have never been an aggressive lobster, but "under the stresses of captivity", I was just about to kill someone. Imagine someone took the entire city of New York and stuffed them into your house.  How would you feel (not so well I would guess)? A...

      Once upon a time, "Saturday nights were for the wife, but Friday nights were always for the girlfriends." If you have ever watched Goodfellas, I'm sure you, just like myself, got a little startled during your late-night binge-watching by Henry Hill's obscene words. Of course, I think it is erroneous to compare everyone-normal people- to ruthless mobsters who were seeing Dumbo's pink elephants and Jesus knows what else (if you're completely lost with what I just said, look it up on Urban Dictionary). According to Judy Brady, men inherently seek to become "economically independent" whereas women must do all the other tasks of life: cleaning the house, cooking the food, taking care of the kids, etc. It gets to a point that men find it necessary to "entail more than just strict adherence to monogamy" because they contribute so much to the family, right? If you look around today, the times have changed for the better; I recently had the pr...

Breaking News!!! At approximately 9:33 am on Saturday, February 10, 2018, a mailman spotted an "unmarked women". She was walking a dog in a suburb of Dallas, Texas when the man noticed her. In  an interview with one of our reports, he said, "she had absolutely no characteristics that caught  my  scrutinizing eye. It's just unbelievable." Information is still being collected and updates are soon to come. Stay tuned.   ***   After contemplating Tannen's claim for quite a while, I  cannot disagree with her. For about ten minutes, I swear that I was trying to picture  a woman who had features that "said nothing about her", but I couldn't.  T he news update above (it's satirical if you didn't realize  it)  and   society  and   even  Tannen have  distinguished   wom e n  in a certain way without even realizing it :  hair, clothing, shoes, etc .  Merely  claiming to find   such...

Dear Fellow Citizens,   I thank you from the bottom of my heart for even considering me to speak in front of you toda y. But allow me please to ask why you chose me? What have I to do with African American suffering? If the point is to bring light onto the problem of discrimination  and  false stereotypes, I must ask why I, of all people, am  so worthy to address this national problem?    In all  honesty to God,  growing up as a white man has offered no oppression :  I have not "groaned" because someone of my race  suffered affliction at the hands of another man . I  "say   it with a sad  sense  of disparity" that you are  not  able to live  without  "the ability to alter public space in ugly ways ."   Then how do I demand the respect of you? For the entirety of your life, not mine, you "feel like an accomplice in tyranny" because people formulate a blurry image before ever meeti...